Sad News...

A very dear friend of mine delivered a baby girl last night at only 21 weeks. The baby's brain did not develop and she was born sleeping.

Baby girl was to join her 3 older brothers this fall and was very much loved.

Please keep them all in your thoughts and hug your loved ones a little tighter today....

Mother's Day.....

I hated this day for a loooong time. I dreaded it, just like any other holiday that reminded me that I didn't have children to share it with. But, thankfully I have gotten over those feelings for myself. I am fortunate enough to now have 2 little ones to share it with - and believe me, I truly know how lucky I am.

My heart does break for all of my friends who do not have their babies to celebrate with though. Over the past 2 years infertility has become more common among those I love. I have so many friends and family members that are struggling in some way (whether through IVF or waiting for their baby to join them through adoption) and I know that this is just another difficult day to be reminded of. For all of you - you are in my thoughts and know that I pray each night that you will find the baby that is meant to be yours!

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Lilli and Alec spoiled their mom this year..........I received a gift certificate for a massage and facial - and you better believe that I need it! The little ones are away until Friday - they are staying with my brother, SIL, and 3 nieces, because our sitter is away. It is also B's birthday today so we are going to enjoy dinner and drinks ALONE!!! Now don't get me wrong, I love nuggets, fighting with Lilli to come inside, and poopy diapers as much as the next person - but having time to ourselves is just what the doctor has ordered!

Lilli is finally feeling better, but the terrible 2's are approaching with a vengeance! I'm thinking we should have named her Reagan.......as from the Exorcist.

Bad week........

Poor Lilli had a virus last week, which translates to "my whole house was covered in puke and poop."

I felt so sorry for her. She had never thrown up before, so had no idea what was going on. I also felt sorry for me because I lost my beloved featherbed during the pukestorm.

By Friday she was so dehydrated that we ended up in the ER for fluids and sugar. IV in a 22 month old is enough to break your heart. She kept saying "me done, home now." We tried to keep her distracted as best we could, and I'm sure the nurses didn't appreciate her marker artwork all over the sheets and pillow cases - but it worked for a bit.

I have no idea how parents of seriously ill children do it, how strong and brave you must be.

We also had to fire our sitter. Long story, but chick went crazy and insulted yours truly. I was in a panic to find a sitter for the next 5 weeks (yay - summer is almost here!!). It was daunting, but thankfully we found someone who is perfect and Lilli has not scared her away yet (she has officially been at our house for 1.5 hours and has not called yet - fingers crossed!) Thankfully Alec is a laid back, California kid and just goes with the flow!

I am hoping this week is better..........

Book a session..........

So even though I am lap topless , I am not without my camera!


If you would like to book a session, please email me at 2ladybugblessings@gmail.com

The Session fee is $35, and will usually last around 2 hrs. I will have between 30 - 50 proofs for you to view and order from.

Here is the price list for 2009:

4 x 6: $4

5 x 7: $8

8 x 10: $14

11 x 20: $22

Additional sizes are also available upon request. (Story boards and Coffee Table books are coming soon!)

Once my computer is up and running again, I will post the photocard designs and prices!

Lucky me......

Well my laptop blew -up........with all of my pictures, photcard designs, programs I need, etc.

I could throw up. Thankfully I have everything backed up (at least I hope that it is all on the external hard drive!) But I am still upset. The thing wasn't even 14 months old, and I was in the middle of 2 invitation orders!

I finally have this blog up and running, ready to share, and now this!

I hope to have things fixed soon..........I am a mess without my computer!

Teeth and Tonsils............

So after the playground injury, I proceeded to scar Lilli for life because I took her to the dentist. It. was. not. a. good. trip.

She needed to have one front tooth bonded, and the other is basically shattered, and will most likey break off at any point.

If that wasn't bad enough - the kid had tonsillitis for the 2nd time in 3 months. She was in so much pain, and I felt so sorry for her. She even missed Easter because she was so sick. (Alec, however, looked adorable in his sweater vest and khakis!)

I then noticed that both of Lilli's front teeth were turning brown............great...............

It was back to the dentist again.

As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, Lilli shook her head and said "no like." Um, do you think I could have felt any more awful????

The verdict is in....................2 root canals and reconstruction of both front teeth. This kid is going to hate me!

Mike Tyson.......

So Lilli fell and broke her front teeth at the park..................toothless is not a good look for a little girl..........

Hectic.........

Generally, that is what it is like around here. I'm back to work - which isn't too bad. It is bad, however, that I don't get to stay in my pj's until mid-afternoon. This showering/making myself look presentable thing is brutal!

B and I are on a very good morning schedule though........Alec wakes up at 5 am (ouch!) and B gets up with him. They are out the door to Mom-Mom's by 6:30.

Lilli is up around the time they leave, so I get myself and her ready, breakfast and coffee together (coffee for me - not her - lol!) and we are out the door by 7:15. It is alot to do first thing in the morning!

I also run a program after school 2 days a week, which keeps me at school until 5:30. Thankfully on those nights, Mom-Mom cooks dinner! On top of that, I squeeze in 3 tutoring sessions for a few students at school..........it is very hard to keep track of.

The laundry is a mile high, the dust bunnies are bigger than the baby, and I am exhausted as usual!

Back to work I go............

So I have been on maternity leave for almost 4 months now, and I go back to teaching on the 6th. I have mixed feeling about it...............

I absolutely loved having time to bond with Alec, and I am so fortunate that I had that much time off. However, the SAHM thing just isn't for me. It is such a tough job, and I admire those who can do it! Ideally, I would love to work part-time, so that I can be home with the kids more - but that is not an option. But I do have my summer off, along with holiday breaks - so I really don't have it to bad!

Lilli has been going to the sitter 3 days a week while I have been home, because we wanted to keep her on a schedule (plus she loves going to "school"!) She will go back full-time when I start back.

Alec is going to be spending his days with Mom-Mom until the summer. Then it is off to the shore we go!

Only a few more weeks until spring break..........(is it bad to think that way??)

The H family..........what a pleasure!

This family was so sweet! They were such a pleaure to work with and "C" and "M" were so well behaved! I am going to be taking engagement pictures for their aunt soon - yay!!

Baby "G".....precious!

This is "G", and the G could possibly stand for gorgeous! She was such a sweetheart, and is going to be a knock-out! Good thing her big brother "D" will be around......

Gorgeous girls..........

Seriously, could these 3 sisters be any more beautiful?

Baby "C" - what a joy!

Meet "C" - isn't he adorable??? And he was so cooperative, at only 5 weeks old! He was definitley the best baby ever!

Inspiration explanation................

So now brings me to the point of how these 2 little ladybugs truly inspired me.............After Lilli was born, I was a picture-taking nut! By the time she was a year old, I had close to 2,000 pictures of her (crazy, I know).

B and I had a photographer come to the house to do family portraits for the holidays, as well as our Christmas cards. The pictures were beautiful, but the price was outrageous! (Truth be told, B still doesn't know how much it really was - I have a tendancy to cut all prices in half when he asks what I spent - sshh!)

I also hated the fact that my camera was so slow, and half the time I would miss the really good shots. So I researched some cameras, had a heart attack over the price - but I bit the bullet and finally bought one.

I loved it! Everyone told me what a fab job I was doing with Lilli's pictures, how I really had an "eye" for it, yada, yada.

So I took some photography classes. I got the basics down, had a teacher who was really great and encouraged me to keep going. But it didn't end there.......not only did I love taking pictures, but I really wanted to learn how to make my own photo cards too.

I had spent a fortune on birth announcements, Christmas cards, party invitations, thank you's, etc., for Lilli, so I really wanted to learn how to make my own. How hard could it be, right?

Well - harder than you think. And definitely more expensive than I thought! So I bought what I needed, and found a really great teacher. I learned alot on my own too, which drove B insane, because I have spent countless hours in front of the computer (which is why I now have to wear glasses too!)

It is now my new side gig, which I really enjoy doing. So now you will get to view some of my work!

Connections...

We have 2 amazing birth stories for our children. Some of the details are completely different, yet some are very eerily similar....................

Lilli and Alec both had birthmothers who were 39 at the time of delivery.

They were both the 5th child for each of their birthmothers. (F had placed a little boy for adoption 16 years ago).

J and F (their birthmothers) were both adopted themselves as infants.

It amazes me how their stories parallel each other in many ways, and amazes me even more that these 2 angels are actually mine........

Mommy times 2............

I won't lie....I was scared out of my mind to have 2 kids, who were 17 months apart. I knew it was going to be alot of work, that B and I would probably be at each other's throats, and that Lilli was not going to handle it very well. But I was ready.

And you know what? It really isn't that hard - at all. I am not a screaming maniac like I pictured I would be. I still have time to watch tv and go out with my friends (I actually go out more now, because I NEED IT!) The house isn't perfect, but so what. I am usually exhausted every second of the day, but I can deal with it. Lilli loves Alec, and vice versa, and B and I work really well together.

There are still times when I want to rip my hair out, run away, have a drink by 9 am, or a combo of all 3 - but I wouldn't have it any other way - honestly.

I consider myself to be the luckiest person alive. I am not sure what I did to deserve these 2, and I am thankful for them each day.

People ask about our story all of the time, because they really have not heard of anything like it before. I love talking about it. I am so proud of my kids, and of the way that they both came into my life.

I have heard some say "I don't know how you do it", or "you are such a good person for giving them a great home.", etc.

I don't look at it that way at all. These 2 saved my life. They made me a better person. They taught me the true meaning of unconditional love, and I wouldn't change one. single. thing. about my life.

You see, it was never really important for me to be pregnant - I just wanted to be a mom. And because of Lilli and Alec, my dreams have finally come true..............

Home sweet home......

Although I loved having some alone time with my little man, I missed Lilli more than I could have ever imagined. We had never been away from her for more than a weekend, so 13 days was just way too much for me to handle. It was definitely the hardest part for me.

I literally sat in the hotel room and waited for the phone to ring, with our attorney telling us to "come on home!!"

You would think that we should have been living it up in CA, considering it was cold as hell back home. But we didn't. We were in a very weird part of CA..........in the middle of desserts and mountains. We were about 2 hours away from both LA and San Diego, and I really didn't want to travel that far with a newborn. So instead, I spent countless hours just staring at my little guy, and I soaked up all of the alone time that I could - I knew it was going to be far and few between once we arrived home...........(looking back, I do kind of regret not being able to see more while we were there. I kind of wish we did things, but then again I will never get that baby time back!)

The flight was 5 hours long, and my angel slept the entire way. He was so good, and I loved all of the compliments that I got about how good I looked for just having a baby!

When we arrived home, our entire family was waiting for us, and had the house decorated in blue (this was unusual to see as Alec is the only boy in the family!!).

I couldn't wait to see Lilli. I threw open the door and ran over to her. She looked at me like she had no idea who I was....very anti-climatic!

And then she got to meet her baby brother for the first time........

Cali...........

We were in CA for almost 2 weeks. It was the longest 2 weeks of my life. If you are not familiar with how an out of state adoption works, it's a little like this...........

In our situation, the state of CA had to review all of our paperwork from our homestudy, everything our lawyer had done, J's parental rights needed to be terminated after 72 hrs, and we had to meet with a social worker. Once the state cleared us, we then had to wait for the state of PA to clear us based on the same paperwork and info.

This is called ICPC - basically means you cannot transport a child over state lines until both states agree.

This process could take 2 days, it could take 2 months. It all depends on how well both states work together and what kind of people you have working in the state offices. This is why you really need to hire an attorney who knows what they are doing and who is familiar with the law.

B and I had an amazing hotel suite where we could bond with Alec. Everyone was so kind to us. We were able to meet with T to go to dinner, and it was so nice to have a face to go with a name - especially since we had been speaking for almost 2 years without meeting!

We got to spend ALOT of time with J and her family. She even made us Thanksgiving dinner since we were away from our family for the holiday! The kids were wonderful, and Alec looked EXACTLY LIKE THEM!! We feel so lucky to have had that time with them, and have a ton of pictures to show him when he is older. (I obviously will not share them here, because I want to respect their privacy.)

When we left J and her family for the last time, B looked at me and said "I am going to miss them so much. You would think they would be so sad to have Alec leave, but I think we are more sad to leave them." And it was totally the truth.

When I last called T to thank her, I asked her if we could adopt J too! I absolutely love her with all of my heart.....

Meet Alec..............

Alec Brayden was 8 lbs, 6 oz, and 21 inches long. He was absolutely perfect.

J did an amazing job during delivery. I was there holding her hand and trying to make her as comfortable as possible.

When Alec was born, the dr. handed him to J first, who kissed him, and then she handed him over to me saying "now it is time to meet you other mommy." It was amazing. I couldn't take my eyes off of him - even though he was peeing all over the place!

J and I sat together with Alec for awhile, and then I decided to call it a night. We were both exhausted, and I also wanted to give her time to rest and bond with Alec. I went back to my hotel, but didn't sleep very much!

The next day was Thanksgiving, and thankfully, B had gotten a flight! He was due in CA mid-afternoon, and then we were headed to the hospital so that he could meet our son.....J's kids had been up earlier to meet Alec, and we were happy that they all had a chance to be together. B and I sat in J's room the entire time and talked about everything under the sun. Alec was never even in the nursery - he spent all day and night in J's room. It was unreal how we all got along. B and I not only fell in love with Alec, but we fell in love with J too.

I was a mom again, and honestly couldn't figure out how I had gotten this lucky.......

Taking off.......

Ok, so we were excited - finally easing our way out of the denial phase, but veeeerrrrrryyyy nervous. One of the worst parts of this was that we were going to have to leave Lilli - and we didn't know for how long.

J had a due date of November 24th. We decided it was best if I flew out there first - on the actual due date - and that B would follow when we knew more. (J really wanted to be induced, but her dr. was not giving her a straight answer.) I didn't want to miss the birth, but we didn't want to leave Lilli without either of us for longer than needed either.

Now - I am totally not the "travel by myself and enjoy it" type of person. I was petrified. My mom flew from PA to CA with me on the 24th, got me settled into my hotel (where. I had. to. stay. by. myself.), and then got right back on a red-eye to get to work in the morning. Yeah - she rocks.

So there I was, in CA, alone, and scared shitless. J had a dr.'s appointment on the 25th, and he told her that he would induce her that following Saturday, the 29th. I was so upset. Here I was, in CA - almost a full week earlier than I needed to be. I was away from my little girl, spending money on a hotel that I didn't need. I was so mad at myself, and so lonely. I cried - alot.

The next afternoon, I was working on birth announcements on my computer, when my phone rang. It was J. It was about 4:40 and she told me that she didn't feel right. Her boyfriend (not the baby's birthdad) was going to drive her to the hospital, but she really didn't think anything would come of it. She said she would call back when she knew something.

I wasn't taking any chances.............I took a shuttle to rent a car, got a GPS, and made my way to the hospital (which was almost an hour away). J called and told me they were admitting her, and I said, "great, because I am already on my way!"

I got to the hospital around 6:30 pm on November 26th.

My son was born at 7:16 pm.......................