Getting our butts in gear....

So I guess I should have come out of my state of denial, right?? I mean, we were a month vested into this situation, and even if it meant putting our hearts on the line - we needed to get moving.

We were familiar with how adoption worked, because of Lilli. However, we had never done an out-of-state adoption before - and believe me - it is a whole different can of worms!

Where do we finalize? Who do we call? How many lawyers will we need? What are the state laws? It is alot to take in.

After much research, many phone calls, much uncertainty, way more money than we had budgeted for, and many sleepless nights - we finally got the logistics straightened out. We hired an attorney in CA, where we would be finalizing. We hired a social worker for J, to advise her of all of her rights, etc, and we hired another attorney in PA to accept our ICPC documents. It was alot of work, in a short period of time.

Now we needed to make travel arrangements, and arrangements for Lilli.. This was the tough part, because we still hadn't told our family about J. And considering B and I were going to be 3,000 miles away for a few weeks............now was the time.

Obviously they were thrilled - in shock, but thrilled. My brother was kind enough to give us his Marriott points for a week, and my mom works for the airlines, so we were able to get a discount there too. My parents and the inlaws were going to take turns with Lilli, so things were coming together.

Our parents were under strict instructions that they were not to tell a soul about this - no one. We explained to them while it was hard for them when things didn't work out, it was hardest on us, as we had to re-live it everyday. We had been through so much by this point, that we didn't want to have to explain all of the gory details to everyone in sight - it was really best if we kept it to ourselves.

J's pregnancy continued to go well, and baby boy was doing great too. J had a due date that was right before Thanksgiving - and she asked us to be in the delivery room with her!!!! We were beyond excited about that, as we didn't have that opportunity when Lilli was born.

J and I also discussed names. We told her that while we did name Lilli, we kept the middle name that F had given her. We asked J to give baby boy his middle name too, and she was thrilled to do so.

Things were really going well, and yet, I was still in denial!

The call.........

I was driving out of the parking lot of school on Monday, and noticed I had a voicemail on my cell. When I checked it, it was T telling me that J had chosen us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She said that we were officially "matched" and that we should start making plans.

Exciting, right? Well, for someone who has not had their hearts broken a million times before - then very exciting. For true vets like B and I, we were still convinced that someone was just around the corner, waiting to steal it all away. There was no way that this was going to go smoothly, we were not this lucky. No one has successfully adopted 2 healthy infants in 17 months time. This was a dream, scam, catastrophe waiting to happen.......................the plans would just have to wait.

I continued to speak to J through weekly phone calls and emails. She told us the reason she chose B and I was because we were so close with our families. (All of our family lives nearby, and we have daily contact with them.) Talking with J was like talking to an old friend who I hadn't seen in awhile. She was the most positive, upbeat person that I had ever met. Although, Lilli's birthmom and I got along, the relationship with J was developing differently. It's not that J wasn't having a hard time with the decision, but she focused more on the positive - that she was giving someone the greatest gift of all.

The conversations continued to go well, but I still had my guard up. We still had not told anyone, because we didn't really believe it was happening.