From bad to good..........

It took along time to recover from our failed match. Even though we knew it happened for the best, it was still one of the hardest things B and I had ever gone through. But admittedly, it would have been much harder had we not had Lilli to come home to.

We tried to focus on the positive - Lilli.

We also called T and told her that we no longer wanted our names on the list. We weren't saying forever, but couldn't tell her how long we needed either. We had given T alot of money - money that could not be refunded, but our hearts needed time to heal, and we didn't even know if they would.

In the meantime, we still had Lilli's adoption to finalize. She was also born in PA, so we did have to deal with the 30 day revocation period - but that had long been over.

The Ice Queen was busy doing her end of the deal, and continued to be a PITA - which meant charging me whatever she felt on any given day, for any little thing.

By the time we were ready to go to court to make Lilli officially ours, she was almost 10 months old. Sitting in the judge's chambers, hearing him change her name (F had named her Savannah on her birth certificate), and having him say that she was legally ours- was the best feeling in the world. Not that she didn't already feel, act, and look like she was ours - it's was just nice to hear. And it was comforting to know that nothing was hanging over our heads.

However, the moment didn't last long, as I will share another offending moment with the Ice Queen:


There was a local case that was being heard in the courthouse the same day of our finalization. It was about a college girl who had given birth, but then hid the body of her newborn son in the trunk of her car - you know one of the many stories as of late.

Ice Queen actually had the balls to turn to me and say........."Doesn't it make you sick to hear stories like that knowing that you can't even have your own children."

Good thing court houses have metal detectors........