Waiting, waiting, and more waiting. That was all there was to do. B and I had all of our ducks in a row, were approved by the social worker, shelled out every penny to anyone who had their hand out, so we waited.
But life was finally looking up, for the first time in a long time. Any couple who goes through infertility can attest to how stressful it is, and what a toll it takes on your marriage. I was hopped up on so many hormones, I could barely stand myself, so I can't even imagine how B felt. But then again, our struggle also brought us closer. When we lost the first baby, B is the only one I would speak to for close to 3 weeks. I didn't take calls from my mom, best friend - hell, the only time I got out of bed was when I had to drag myself to work. It was a very dark time in my life, and I had definitely lost myself in it all.
We decided to really focus on our adoption journey and stay as positive as possible. We knew that we would probably be waiting for at least 2 years, so we were looking forward to our summer down the shore, spending more time with friends, and just enjoying time together. We even had the guest room painted for our "soon to be baby"and I made my first trip into Babies R Us in close to 3 years to see what kind of things baby would need ! (I think I may have broken out in hives when I walked through the door though.) Life finally seemed like living again..........
But life was finally looking up, for the first time in a long time. Any couple who goes through infertility can attest to how stressful it is, and what a toll it takes on your marriage. I was hopped up on so many hormones, I could barely stand myself, so I can't even imagine how B felt. But then again, our struggle also brought us closer. When we lost the first baby, B is the only one I would speak to for close to 3 weeks. I didn't take calls from my mom, best friend - hell, the only time I got out of bed was when I had to drag myself to work. It was a very dark time in my life, and I had definitely lost myself in it all.
We decided to really focus on our adoption journey and stay as positive as possible. We knew that we would probably be waiting for at least 2 years, so we were looking forward to our summer down the shore, spending more time with friends, and just enjoying time together. We even had the guest room painted for our "soon to be baby"and I made my first trip into Babies R Us in close to 3 years to see what kind of things baby would need ! (I think I may have broken out in hives when I walked through the door though.) Life finally seemed like living again..........
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