How it all works...

The week after our first miscarriage, I started to research adoption. I knew in the back of my mind that IVF was not the answer for us, and I am also a pessimist at heart. I had no clue where to start, who to talk to, which questions to ask, etc. I was 28 and clueless, and the internet became my best friend. I found out that we had a couple of choices when it came to using adoption professionals. I found someone who I really clicked with, and who really helped me through the next several months (we were still pursuing treatment at the time).

When B came home with the glorious news that he was on board the adoption train, I already knew who I was going to call - T. T is a facilitator who has been handling adoptions for over 15 years. She rocks. She held my hand, walked me through every step, explained everything to B (as I am not exactly the most patient person when it comes to him ;) and really made us feel comfortable. As soon as we started the process, it was like a huge weight was lifted - sounds corny, but we actually felt like we had our lives back.

For those of you who are not familiar with how adoption works, it's kinda like this......

1. Be prepared to rob a bank, beg your family members to cash in their retirement plans, or remortgage your house out the wazoo. You have probably spent whatever savings you had on fertility treatments, so there's not going to be a dime left in the bank.
2. You will then have to hand over that huge chunk of cash to the adoption professional you have chosen, praying with all of your heart that they are not a scam and are really going to find you the baby that you so desperately want. To say adoption is a huge leap of faith is an understatement.
3. Paperwork - and lots of it.
4. You will need to have a licensed social worker come into your house to perform a "homestudy" and to ask you every personal question under the sun - including what color underwear you are currently wearing, which you will then need to find the receipt for. This will cost you another chunk of change, so be prepared to sell an organ to come up with it.
5. More paperwork, and while you are at it, just attach a couple hundred dollar bills to each page.
6. Preparing your family "profile". This is a book that you put together which is about you, your family, interests, home, etc. It will then be shown to potential birthmothers who want to place their babies for adoption. The profile is alot of work, but alot of fun too. Oh yea, fun - but pricey.
7. Wait for the phone to ring. Which is actually the hardest part. Can you imagine being on pins and needles every second of the day waiting for the 1 phone call that will change your life forever? I need a xanax just thinking about it.