So I guess I will start from the beginning....

I wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. I met my husband, B, when I was 22, and knew very early on that I wanted to marry him and have children! We met down the shore on a random Friday night in 2000 (I won't even get into the story of how we were set up) and really haven't been apart since.

We were married in 2004 and started trying for a baby right away - well, at least I did. B said he wanted to wait a year, but I digress. A year came and went - and nothing. I saw my doctor for another year (who actually turned out to be a moron - but that is another long story that I won't get into) and still nothing. I took matters into my own hands and went to see a specialist (a Reproductive Endocrinologist, or RE for short). B and I went through numerous procedures, surgeries, LOTS of drugs (all legal of course!) and finally moved onto IVF **(invitro-fertilization, for those of you who have been in a closet and haven't heard the term a million times because of the crazy octo-mom). Another year, much heartache, a cool 20k, and 2 miscarriages later, we still had nothing. nada. zero. zilch.

Needless to say, I was devasted, beyond depressed, and not very pleasant to be around. I brought up the idea of adoption to B, and he said he wanted time to think. We had just been through 3 years of hell, so I guess I couldn't blame the guy for wanting a break from anything baby related.

For the next month, I did not mention the "a" or "b" word at all (for anyone who knows me, you are probably wondering how the hell I managed that one, right?). It was tough, reaaaaaally tough.

I was standing in the kitchen one day when B came home from work. He comes in and says, "I think I want to adopt."

UM, 'SCUSE ME???????? That is all I needed to hear, so the journey began................

**edited to add